It's Wednesday evening and somewhere around 75-80 degrees. Your apartment is hot, you're sitting shirtless and stuck to the couch from sweat. You're flipping through the channels looking for something to watch because it is Wednesday and there isn't anything good on TV to watch. You're left with some weak choices:
Food Network Challenge (I actually like this show though)
ESPN Baseball Tonight (Stupid ESPN talking heads)
Red Sox Pre-Game (Stupid pro-Red Sox talking heads, but hot as fuck Heidi Watney)
NHL Award Show
Yeah, the N-fucking-HL Award show. Who in their right minds want to watch an award show, let alone a HOCKEY award show?
This is the second year that the NHL has put on this "extravaganza" and much like the first one, it sucked. Jay Mohr was terrible, which makes me wonder when the last time Jay Mohr was even relevant in the world of comedy.
I'll be honest, I didn't watch this shit fest for more than 10 minutes. I missed Shinedown's awful performance, I missed the awkward speeches by athletes who can barely say 5 words because they grew up in a place they still refer to as "the Mother Land" and I missed Jay Mohr making his usual unfunny jokes.
What I really don't get though is the reason why people were spending their Wednesday evening watching this. It is a fucking hockey awards show. I didn't watch last year's show, all I did was catch Chara's dopey and awkward speech.
I guess my issue with the whole thing is that an awards show based on sports is utterly retarded. What's going to happen next, an award show for people in the Human Service field? Maybe an NBA Award Show (which would actually be entertaining if Ron Artest was the host).
Look, NHL, I know that you're still doing anything you can to get fans. Hell, Gary Betteman would probably suck your dick for you to buy a Coyotes or Thrashers ticket, but this is the wrong way to go about it.
Instead of pumping tons of capital into an awards show where the presenter (Mark Wahlberg) and the host (Jay Mohr) have stated multiple times that they hate hockey. This was taken from an article written over at Puck Daddy.
"This is a slightly different Jay Mohr, however, than the one who wrote the following about hockey in 2007, as Paul Kukla passed along in his post "Get a Real Job Jay":
"Hockey sucks too. I can't root for a guy whose name on the back of his jersey has no vowels. I also don't think a sport is legitimate if its inception depended on the weather."
And slightly different than what he said in an interview with Jets Insider in 2008:
JAY MOHR: I love the Yankees. I've never been into hockey and sadly I'm a Knicks fan.
And slightly different than when he was a columnist for SI.com back in 2005:
I am frequently asked who my favorite teams are, and I always give the same response: "Yankees, Knicks, Jets and screw hockey."
And the times he's filled in for Jim Rome and said "hockey sucks.""In my eyes, the ESPY Awards, the NHL Awards...in reality even the Oscars and Grammys and all that hoopla should just be put to waste. No one cares about your shout-out to your management crew, your production crew, your mom or God.
The NHL needs to learn some class because as my friend lanibelle19 stated on Twitter "That was a hot mess."